Friends. How Many Of Us Have Them? Friends…
If you are reading this, welcome to 2017. Let me just jump right in.Friends is a term that I see being thrown around so loosely these days. Women are befriending other women because they wear cute make-up. Men are befriending other men because they want to ride their wave. What happened to friends being based off loyalty, honesty, and all of that good stuff?
When you have a friendship that is based off loyalty, honesty, respect, good communication, etc, you rarely find yourself posting shit on social media sites like “I don’t have any friends.” Or “Where the ‘real’ people at?” Ten times out of ten you probably ran those ‘real’ people out of your life.
Personally, I have had some of the same friends since I was younger. Why? Because when either of us are having problems with each other, we talk amongst ourselves, and not with social media, nor anyone else. We may or may not get the issue solved right off the bat, but you best believe that we get it solved. Myself, and my small group of friends have had several arguments, disagreements, ‘fallings out’ where we didn’t talk to each other for days at a time, but to the outside world, you would never know that. That’s how true friendships work. Hey Sally! I really don’t like when you invite other people to ride in my car, or in my house. I don’t have anything against them, I just don’t know them like that.
Bitches think they all that just because they got a nice car and a nice house.
See, why couldn’t Sally just say how she felt to Stephanie, but she ran to Facebook? This is how 2017 friendships work.
Sally: Bitch I heard you was talking about me. Why the fuck you telling my business to your other friends?
Stephanie: What was I supposed to have been said? Everything you tell me is safe with me. Maybe you told someone else, and they told someone else.
Sally updates a Facebook status: Funny how bitches always telling someone else business, but won’t tell how she was fucking John in the backseat of his wife’s car.
(DON’T MISS THE POINT OF THE MESSAGE BECAUSE OF THE NAMES I USED. THANKS)
Now, after Stephanie told Sally she didn’t know what she was talking about, she still posted a subliminal message about her for the world to see, which brings me to my next point.
If you cannot communicate with your friend without them flying off the handle, please drop that friend. A real friend is someone who communicates ‘the real’ with you, regardless of your feelings. Why would you want a friend who sugarcoats shit for you? I know I wouldn’t. There are plenty of times where one of my best friends have been like “Bianca, you know you wrong. You shouldn’t have said this. You can’t be mad about that.” Was I mad at the time that the corrected me…hell yeah, but I realized that what they told me was for my best interest.
Let me touch back on Social Media & Friendships right quick.
YOUR REAL FRIENDS WILL NOT ENCOURAGE YOU TO ACT A FOOL ON SOCIAL MEDIA, EMBARRASING YOURSELF, YOUR FAMILY, & PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY LOOK UP TO YOU. (I BOLDED THIS STATEMENT FOR A REASON)
Those are the friends that you need to cut out of your life.
But Bianca… We been friends forever. I can’t just cut them off like that.
-Sometimes, people grow apart, and that’s life. Sometimes, people take different walks of life, which leads you to just drift apart, and that’s also apart of life. Why would you allow somebody to continue to drag you down? If you know that person is not beneficial to your life, why are they there? They are taking up space.
Here’s what I mean by beneficial: Everyone serves a purpose in your life. Beneficial does not always mean monetary. For me, beneficial means mentally, physically, emotionally. You need friends that will help you reach your highest level of potential. You need friends that are going to tell you when you are wrong, and also cheering in your corner when you are right.
Now here’s a list of ‘friends’ that you need to cut off for the year 2017.
-Friends who are not supportive.
-Friends who only listen to reply, and not listen to understand.
-Friends who encourage you to make a fool of yourself on social media (most of the time they are laughing at you, and not with you)
-Friends who don’t have any conversation to offer, but gossip/mess.
-Friends who are only around when you up, and ghost when you down.
Now here’s a list of FRIENDS that you need in your life for 2017
-Friends who encourage you to get off your ass.
-Friends who call you out on your shit.
-Friends who support you.
IN THE FAMOUS WORDS OF JAY-Z: “PEOPLE SAY YOU CHANGED LIKE YOU WORK THIS HARD TO STAY THE SAME.”
LISTEN! THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS TO PROGRESS! IF YOU HAVE A ‘FRIEND’ WHO ONLY WANTS TO STAY STAGNANT IN LIFE… PLEASE DROP THEM. THEY WILL ONLY HOLD UP YOUR PROGRESS.
But Bianca… how can I tell who those friends are?
-Pay attention to little things they say.
“You starting to act funny now since you got that lil job”
“Yeah, I like what you did, but…”
-Every time you discuss one of your accomplishments they always have a ‘way’ that they could have made it better.
The last thing I will say about that is the age-old quote I see everywhere, “First they’ll ask why you’re doing it, but later they’ll ask how you did it.”
I’m starting to ramble now, so I’ll end with this.
The best kept secret is a secret kept to yourself. Each time you open your mouth to anyone, it’s always a chance that it can be repeated…
(Always remember, just because someone is YOUR best friend, don’t mean that you are THEIR best friend.)
Have any horror stories about people you thought were friends? What is your definition of a friend? Sound off in the comments… Let’s chat
You need advice? Wanna vent? Encouragement? You are in the right place.
Questions will be answered via the blog, and anonymously